Diet Fruit Punch
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Sometimes one attempts the strangest things to achieve victory -- Bill "Spaceman" Lee appearing in full uniform, while pitching for the Red Sox, drinking a beer during the 7th inning stretch. That's right, The Spaceman was currently playing in the game and decided he needed to up his hops count at the concession stand at Fenway; The Fans loved it, management not so much. William Hurt's Edward Jessup in "Altered States" takes a tincture of Banisteriopsis caapi root while floating in a sensory deprivation tank to achieve physical and psychological breakthrough.
In the spirit of the strange, I decided to digest only fruit punch for 36 hours prior to my Nathan's hot dog qualifier in Pittsburgh. Planning to dunk my hot dog buns in fruit punch at the ten minute contest, I fathomed that if my body was awash in crimson powdered liquid, my digestive system would assume everything coming down the gullet was fruit punch and the wieners would disappear, leaving only a stain of dayglo red and sugary garlic burps. I was very wrong. I'm pretty sure The Spaceman lost the game while quaffing suds, and Edward Jessup turned into an ape, so perhaps my day and half diet of fruit punch caused biological devolution, not simian, but heading towards the Kool-Aid Man, "Oh yeah."
I between my fourth and fifth dog at the 48 second mark, it was announced that Marcos Owens was on his ninth. At that point an eater chews thoughtfully, hoping that the stomach speed demon will suffer an urge contrary to swallowing (we use euphemism in place of the V(omit) or P(uke) word to avoid the mind-body connection between the two.) When Elvis didn't leave the building, but Marcos finished with 30 hdbs, I was at twenty. I took out what was left in my mouth, leaving the bitter taste of defeat, and self deducted my way to 19.5 hdbs. My fruit punch experience put my consumption into the gerbil/hamster range. The ten minute debacle left me shaken, but having eaten so little, I still had room for a Primanti Brothers sandwich and a few Iron City beers. The sandwiches come loaded with french fries, cole slaw, and one can request double meat. If hemlock was a condiment, I might have ordered it. I have one chance left to qualify for the Nathan's finals on July 4th and the adjectives improbable, unlikely and near impossible come to mind. I've taken the weekend off the pro-eating diet (falling between a horse jockey's pack of peanuts a day and a Sumo wrestler's cauldron of ramen) to decide if I was going to subject my mind and body to weeks of tubesteak preparedness for my next, and last qualifier. Years ago, I had a cameo on "Wife Swap" where pro-eater Badlands Booker was paired with a female professional boxer. The boxer was very much against competitive eating, which befuddled me, since boxing's rules are basically, "punch someone in the head until he or she falls down, preferably unconscious." Over-eating seems a lot healthier than that, but the recent circuit has delivered me a series of body blows, narrowly missing the head shot that would put me down to the canvas. I am fruit punch drunk, wobbly, and against the ropes, but not mathematically out yet. Neither ape nor Spaceman achieved victory through the strange, but it's the only place for me. When the chewing gets tough, the tough get strange. I'll see you on the circuit, "Oh yeah."
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Mt Dew--picks you up and dumps you in the toilet2013-01-09 13:51:52 by kozzy
"Specifically, researchers found an association between drinking four cups/cans of soda daily and a 30 percent higher risk of depression, as well as an association between drinking four cans of fruit punch daily and a 38 percent high risk of depression. The effect was more pronounced with diet fruit punch/soda, compared with non-diet versions of the drinks.
Meanwhile, researchers found an association between drinking four cups of coffee daily and a 10 percent lower risk of depression."
My son, when he was 18 months, went through a2007-01-01 20:42:40 by -----
Starch fix. Rice, potatoes, bread, etc. He wouldn't touch anything else. It lasted 2 weeks, we didn't pay it any attention and then it went away.
I think always strategizing about how to "fix" something that is most likely short term leads to struggles that come up over and over again.
If this had been going on for months, it would be a different story. But for a normal toddler phase - not kid is going to die of malnutrition for a few weeks on a fruit diet.
Serve a variety of fruits that pack the most vitamin-rich punch and let it ride would be my way of going about it.
This lady I work with has lost a ton of weight2011-03-16 10:03:03 by -
On this plan where it's a meal plan, shakes, etc. You take supplements but you can only eat the foods from the program and supplement it with salads and lean meats. She has weighed over 300 pounds for years.
I've lost a lot of weight through diet and exercise. I eat things like tomatoes on my salad, carrots on my salad, I'll eat apples and bananas. Every time she sees me eating a fruit or tomatoes or carrots she starts to lecture me about how those foods are bad for me and I might as well be eating a cube of sugar.
I want to punch her in the throat. That is all.
1. Whopper, fries, and a sprite2013-03-20 12:30:39 by -
2. Chicken, rice, broccoli, and milk
4. 2 grilled onion and cheese burgers, fries, and a sprite
I felt like I always do when I wake up. A little groggy, tired, crabby until I have my coffee.
I forgot I'd drank some fruit punch juice around 5 am when I went pee on the morning with the 119 reading.
My diet is poor. I eat a lot of crap.
I've been testing 45-60 minutes after eating.
I ate lunch today at 11:45 and am going to take the sugar at 1:45 in 15 minutes. I've only been testing 2x a day.
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